Introduction
In today’s complex and fast-moving workplace, technical skills and titles are no longer enough to define great leadership. What sets top-performing leaders apart is their ability to understand, manage, and influence emotions—both their own and others’. This is the essence of emotional intelligence (EQ), and it’s not just a soft skill—it’s a leadership superpower.
The good news? Emotional intelligence can be learned and strengthened with intention and practice. In this post, we explore the key habits of emotionally intelligent leaders, why they matter, and how you can begin applying them to become a more impactful, empathetic, and respected leader in your organisation.
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to recognise, understand, and manage your own emotions while also being attuned to the emotions of others. Psychologist Daniel Goleman identifies five key components of emotional intelligence:
- Self-awareness
- Self-regulation
- Motivation
- Empathy
- Social skills
When leaders develop these traits, they build stronger teams, reduce conflict, and create psychologically safe environments that encourage innovation and trust.
Habit 1: Practising Self-Awareness Daily
Emotionally intelligent leaders consistently check in with themselves. They understand their emotional triggers, stress patterns, and communication tendencies.
How to build this habit:
- Start a daily journaling or reflection practice
- Pause during high-stress moments to label what you’re feeling
- Request regular feedback from peers or team members
Why it matters:
Leaders with self-awareness are better at making balanced decisions and less likely to react impulsively in challenging situations.
Habit 2: Responding Instead of Reacting
Self-regulation is the skill of managing emotions—especially in the heat of the moment. Emotionally intelligent leaders pause, process, and choose intentional responses instead of knee-jerk reactions.
Ways to strengthen self-regulation:
- Use breathing or mindfulness techniques to calm your nervous system
- Take a walk before responding to emotionally charged emails or conversations
- Reframe setbacks as learning opportunities rather than personal failures
Why it matters:
Your emotional tone sets the example. When you remain calm under pressure, your team is more likely to stay focused and solutions-oriented.
Habit 3: Leading With Empathy
Empathy is at the heart of emotional intelligence. It means putting yourself in others’ shoes, listening without judgement, and acknowledging different perspectives.
Empathetic leaders:
- Hold space for others to express concerns
- Show genuine interest in their team members’ well-being
- Adjust their communication styles to suit different personalities
How to adopt it:
Practice active listening. Resist the urge to jump in with solutions and instead, validate feelings with phrases like, “That sounds frustrating” or “I can see why that would be challenging.”
Habit 4: Giving Constructive, Caring Feedback
Emotionally intelligent leaders know how to give feedback that helps people grow—without damaging morale or relationships.
What effective feedback looks like:
- Specific and timely
- Focused on behaviours, not personal traits
- Delivered in a supportive, growth-oriented tone
Try this structure:
“I noticed [specific behaviour]. It impacted [result or team]. I’d love to support you in improving by [suggestion].”
Why it matters:
Feedback given with empathy improves performance and builds trust over time.
Habit 5: Practising Emotional Agility
Emotionally intelligent leaders are emotionally agile—they experience emotions fully but aren’t controlled by them. They pivot when needed and adapt to uncertainty with resilience.
Ways to practice:
- Acknowledge difficult emotions without judgement
- Ask “What is this emotion trying to tell me?”
- Avoid suppressing or ignoring negative feelings—process them constructively
Why it matters:
Resilient leaders help their teams navigate change with clarity and composure.
Habit 6: Cultivating Inclusive Communication
EQ-driven leaders create spaces where people feel heard and respected, regardless of background or communication style.
Strategies to adopt:
- Encourage all voices in meetings, not just the loudest
- Use inclusive language and body cues (eye contact, nodding, open posture)
- Create anonymous channels for feedback to promote psychological safety
Why it matters:
Inclusive communication fuels innovation, engagement, and a stronger sense of belonging in your team.
Habit 7: Practising Gratitude and Recognition
Recognising effort and expressing appreciation is a habit that emotionally intelligent leaders embrace.
How to implement it:
- Call out team wins—big or small—in meetings or messages
- Send personal notes or emails to acknowledge individual effort
- Build gratitude into your daily routine (e.g., “What’s one thing I appreciate about each team member today?”)
Why it matters:
Positive reinforcement strengthens morale, improves retention, and motivates high performance.
Habit 8: Staying Curious, Not Judgmental
Emotionally intelligent leaders ask more than they assume. They stay curious about people’s perspectives, motivations, and challenges.
Try this in practice:
- Replace “Why did you do that?” with “Help me understand what led to that decision.”
- Ask open-ended questions to foster deeper dialogue
- Suspend judgement in moments of disagreement and seek to understand
Why it matters:
Curiosity builds stronger relationships, surfaces better ideas, and reduces unnecessary conflict.
Conclusion
Emotional intelligence isn’t just a “nice-to-have”—it’s a core leadership capability that directly impacts how you build teams, resolve conflict, and inspire trust. By developing the habits of emotionally intelligent leaders—self-awareness, empathy, emotional regulation, and inclusive communication—you’ll not only elevate your leadership but also the people you lead.
Next step:
Choose one of these habits to focus on this week. Whether it’s journaling to build self-awareness or actively listening during a team meeting, small consistent actions create lasting change.